We don’t want to totally hate on baby showers. They can be perfectly lovely. It’s beautiful to celebrate a first-time mama’s soiree into motherhood, and we’re so down to attend a party that’s all about pastels, floaty attire and babies — it’s just that sometimes things go awry.
Perhaps it’s a quest to escape the overly-feminine, cheesy cliches which usually haunt baby showers that cause some people to over-correct and attempt to make the event humorous. And while it’s healthy to joke about human life-events like the miracle of birth, sometimes said jokes turn out a little… off. And it’s not just the (mostly) lame party games we’re talking about here.
The cakes. We’re talking about the cakes.
You’d be surprised to learn that it’s not uncommon for baby shower cakes to be so bizarre, we’re not so sure we could even eat them. And that’s a bold statement. Don’t believe us? Check these out.
Originally published August 2015. Updated October 2017.
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Carrot babies
Image Credit: Cake Wrecks Why do these babies have mohawks? And… why are they riding carrots?
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Brown ladybug baby
Image Credit: Cake Wrecks This sleeping… brown ladybug baby, I think… does not make me any more excited for motherhood.
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Barbie’s water birth
Image Credit: Cake Wrecks This depiction of water birth is fine, but the concept is flawed: Do you really want to eat what’s in that water?
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Set her free
Image Credit: Cake Wrecks The first rule of parenting: Keep your baby away from plastic bags. Now we know why!
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Baby turkey
Image Credit: Cake Wrecks This is supposedly a baby ballerina’s butt (why?), but to me it looks more like a baby turkey with Cheez Whiz legs. Yum?
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Kicking and screaming
Image Credit: Cake Wrecks This baby is kicking to get out. And the shower guests are screaming as they run away from this cake.
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Horror baby cake FAIL
Image Credit: Cake Wrecks Congratulations, you’re having a zombie demon baby! Who knew a baby shower cake could be so genuinely terrifying?
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Pregnancy test cake
Image Credit: Cake Wrecks In case you want your food to look like something you pee on, this is the cake for you.
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C-section cake
Image Credit: Imgur/humanitymakesmyeyesrain Just be thankful they depicted a C-section — natural birth cakes do exist, and trust me, they aren’t pretty.
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Man baby shower cake
Image Credit: DinaCimarusti/Imgur That awkward moment when your baby is a full-grown man.
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‘It’s girl’
Image Credit: annabunana_/Twitter Looks like this baker forgot to buy a vowel.
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Newborn cake
Image Credit: Cake Central Of course this disturbing cake is covered in red Jell-O and made with red velvet.
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Like a wrecking ball
Image Credit: Cake Wrecks This lumpy, shiny ball-o-baby is sure to make any expectant mother squeamish.
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Operation baby
Image Credit: Cake Wrecks This baker went ultra realistic and included a stainless steel bowl of placenta. Icing roses are so last year, amirite?
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Sleeping baby cake FAIL
Image Credit: WhoreLashes/Imgur Aw, what a cute and lifelike cake! Until you slice it and it becomes a horrifyingly realistic murder scene.
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Crowning baby
Image Credit: mimiposkitt/Instagram Let’s try our best to not scare the new mom before her water breaks, m’kay?
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Baby crowning, part 2
Image Credit: sarahlouisechristiansen/Instagram And if the first one didn’t scare ya, here’s another angle of baby making its grand debut.
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Evil clown baby
Image Credit: esmewatson/Instagram A slice of Kiss’ Paul Stanley baby-popping-out-of-a-vagina cake? Don’t mind if I do.
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Vaginal cake art
Image Credit: lusciouscreationscake/Instagram Save this for those classy AF baby showers, where only the most beautiful of vaginas will do.
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